I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Author: Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking' but I don't have that much time.
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking' but I don't have that much time.
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
When I die I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
When I die I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said 'What for?' I said 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said 'What for?' I said 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'