Wisdom worth sharing, words worth remembering.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist two plumbers and a bartender.
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide he exposes himself.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
I get no respect. The way my luck is running if I was a politician I would be honest.
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
What a dog I got his favorite bone is in my arm.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
